Sunday, May 9, 2010

My Brilliant Musings.

When I was little, I was extremely fearful. And needy. And timid. And I am sure I missed out on a LOT because of that. In fact, I know I did. When I got to college, all that changed. I finally came out of my shell, learned how to really trust God, and have been so FREE ever since then. I want to grab life by the horns, be my own person, and take advantage of EVERYTHING that comes my way!

Because of this, I sometimes tend to overdo it. I so resent the fact that I missed out when I was younger, I feel the need to do and see EVERYTHING now. And to be my OWN person so much that, I feel like I have to do things by myself. And not rely on anyone.

I mean, picking up and moving across the country all by myself will be an AWESOME, liberating adventure, right?? And I'll be so cool and independent, and become more of my own person, and have SO much fun...right???

Welllllll........I've been learning a few things about myself. And about life. No matter how cool and "independent" and "trendy" something may seem, and no matter how amazing what you're doing is, or how beautiful the place you are in is.........if you have no one to share it with, it is meaningless.

Now, not TOTALLY meaningless. Yes, I absolutely LOVE the program I'm doing - every second of it! And Colorado is BEAUTIFUL. But.......after a while, cooking all this delicious food for yourself gets a bit lonely. And...staring out at the mountains but having no one to go hiking, or camping, or biking, or fishing with just makes you feel even worse. Being 2,000 miles from anybody who gives a darn that you even exist is...well...hard sometimes!

I sat in Mass today, looking at all the families and the moms on Mother's Day, and I was close to tears the whole time! I have just found that, no matter how "cool" and "independent" my plan seemed in my head, and how much I thought I would be lame for needing people or relying on anybody........everything pales in comparison to love. And there's nothing wrong with needing people. We were MADE for community, and to love and be loved. Yes, I love learning about health and cooking. But what REALLY makes me happy about those things is gaining the knowledge to help others live better lives, and cooking FOR those I love.

So it's just like I'm kind of missing a piece to the puzzle right now. Yes, I am INCREDIBLY blessed to have the opportunity to follow my dream and complete this Natural Chef program, and I am enjoying it SO very much. I am living in a gorgeous state with awesome outdoors activities. I live in a nice house. But without the people you love...the puzzle has a hard time staying together quite like it should.

Well, that's my most recent epiphany. I know, brilliant, right? I mean, who would have thought you need people you LOVE around you to really be happy??? And that, as social beings, we can't live totally isolated and just do work and school 24/7??? CRAZY.

Sometimes I'm just a little slow in the area of being ok with needing people ;-)

So, if you're someone I love........thanks for being there for me and giving me purpose. I miss you, and can't wait to see you again and COOK for you! :-D

And reward you for having to read all my senseless ramblings have 2 awesome recipes to share with you! Stay tuned!


  1. I love you too, K-Mo. You're one of the best people I know, and you'll do a lot of good in the world with whatever God has in mind for you. Remember--even though it is finals week, so it might be a little hard to keep this particular promise for the next four days--I'm only a phone call away.

  2. I totally know how you feel, Moe! I do that all the time, especially with this crazy year of traveling constantly. I'm afraid when I go to grad school it's going to take over my life and I'll have no time for I'm moving to Virginia. Anyways, I understand and I miss you! :) --Abby